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On his HBO show, Real Time, aftermost Friday, Bill Maher atrociously took bottomward red cities, red counties, red states, and red MAGA hat–wearing Americans in his shtick criticizing Amazon for cogent New York Accompaniment to booty the 20,000-plus jobs it would accept brought to the Big Apple and boost ’em.  Instead, he wants Amazon to about-face beggared red states like Nebraska into the abutting Silicon Valley — because it would accompany them jobs and abundance and…would eventually about-face those states dejected by “re-colonizing” them. 

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Wait…I anticipation colonization was imperial, racist, and white and was amiss because it denies the bodies residing in those acreage their appropriate to self-determination.  Oh, I see.  It’s accept above as continued as progressive, arrogant white guys do it to subhuman conservatives who accept tilled the acreage and run their ranches for generations. 

It should accomplish anyone appealing afflictive that one chic of bodies in a country has the airs to accept it needs to accomplishment poor, uneducated, toothless, MAGA-infected Tea Affair troglodytes and about-face them into enlightened, tolerant, intellectually above beings fabricated in the accelerating image. 

In his own words (and I apologize for any typos in this transcript, but I above couldn’t accumulate alert to this drivel over and over to ensure perfection), Bill lays out, in all seriousness, that America has a “spatial geographic inequality” problem.   

[This] agency that the best flush and accomplished bodies are amassed in above a few cities. … The dejected genitalia of America are accepting a big abundance affair while that big sea of red feels like their allurement got absent in the mail.  And they still use the mail.  They about-face on the TV and all the shows booty abode in a few hip cities.  There’s no Real Housewives of Toledo or CSI Lubbock.  There are no red carpets in Wyoming and no one anytime asks you “Who are you wearing”?  Because the acknowledgment is consistently “Target.” 

There are two Americas, and it seems like one is breadth all the air-conditioned jobs are, breadth bodies drive Teslas and eat artisanal ice cream.  We accept orchestras and amphitheater districts and apple chic shopping.  We accept Chef Wolfgang Puck.  They accept Chef Boyardee.  Our roofs accept solar panels.  Theirs accept aftermost year’s Christmas lights.  We’ve got acknowledged bud.  They’ve got Bud. … The flyover states accept become the anesthetized over states.  That’s why red accompaniment voters are so pissed off.  They don’t abhorrence us.  They appetite to be us. … How do I apperceive this?  Because 238 cities and regions submitted proposals to Amazon for the aggregation to locate in their area, all atrocious for jobs that don’t absorb attention prisons and murdering chickens.  And Amazon best two places that didn’t charge them at all [that would be Virginia and New York] — places breadth abundance already was.  Bezos: You’re account $130 billion.  Take one for the team.  Stop arena cities off adjoin one addition and admonition a dying one appear aback to life. …

But if liberals are austere about acceptable elections, they accept to alpha recolonizing the genitalia of the country they’ve abandoned.  Mississippi is the atomic accompaniment in the country.  Amazon could buy the accomplished accompaniment and rename it Amazippi.  If we accumulate abrogation the red states behind, they’re activity to accumulate accepting angrier and crazier. … Aback Amazon moves to West Virginia, bodies get bigger jobs that don’t accord them atramentous lung.  The locals accommodated bodies of altered contest and backgrounds and animal orientations — none of whom annihilate them.  They acquisition out gays don’t ruin anyone’s marriage, but they do advance the karaoke scene.  A yoga flat opens up.  Then an art gallery.  A gym that admits women.  Then one of those contemporary bars. … Asians appear and accessible a Chinese restaurant.  Then the Jews appear because there is a Chinese restaurant, and afore you apperceive it, there is acknowledged edger and appropriate bloom affliction and the schools are teaching science again.

Where to begin?  Aside from the actuality that there is some acceptable ol’ stereotyping about gays, Jews, and Asians that alone guys like Bill Maher and Joe Biden can get abroad with and the blow of us can’t, there’s a accomplished lotta stereotyping about Middle America.  I don’t anticipate Bill is up on his stats.  The states he sees as the best flush — like California, New York, New Jersey, and Illinois — aren’t accomplishing so able-bodied these days.  Businesses are abrogation acceptable dejected states in droves and demography their tax dollars and jobs to the abutting red states.  (Sadly, they accompany with them a lot of advisers who embrace blue-state policies, the aforementioned ones that got them into agitation “back home” in the aboriginal place.  It doesn’t booty continued for them to affect the anatomy adroit in the red states they now abide with their bootless liberalism.) 

The actuality is, New York was dying for that Amazon pick-me-up.  Long Island Burghal bare those high-paying jobs and the accessory businesses that would bounce up to accommodated customer demands — like gas stations so we can annihilate the Earth, dentists to alter our missing teeth, affordable aliment like Target so we can dress up for the red carpet, adorned coffee shops breadth we can allocution about “who we wore on the red carpet,” and grocery aliment that advertise abdomen staples like Chef Boyardee because we can’t allow to eat at any of Wolfie Puck’s restaurants. 

New York is flush alone for the wealthiest, the best aristocratic — like you, Bill.  Maybe if you got out of your Tesla balloon every already in a while and collection upstate in New York or downstate in Illinois or in the Central Valley of California, you’d see the bread-and-butter and cultural devastation.  Those acute states are absolutely appealing stupid, dying beneath the weight of trillions in unfunded alimony liabilities.  The above cities you laud?  Even the above cities in commonly red states are riddled with crime, drugs, poverty, and cultural decline.  That apprenticeship you appetite to appoint on the putrid masses ashore in the cornfields, doesn’t abide in any above burghal in the country — unless you are abnormally flush or acutely advantageous and win the academy lottery. 

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You ability not feel it or see it because your life is so cushy, Bill, but those states and cities that are so accelerating (and broken) are alone run by your people.  Y’all accept become the colonizers, the imperialists, the totalitarians in training. 

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And let’s allocution about “cool” jobs.  Not anybody wants to be a hipster tech bombinate tiptoeing through bags of animal carrion on the way to assignment in San Francisco.  A lot of bodies appetite to farm.  They appetite to assignment with their hands.  The appetite to own baby businesses in their baby towns breadth everybody knows their names.  Millions of Americans shy abroad from the accumulated burghal bullwork and continued for the artlessness Baby Town, USA has to offer.  I apperceive for you that’s above a asinine delicacy for the “basket of deplorables” they absolutely are, adhering to their accoutrements and Bible propaganda, but who is to say your advertising will be any better?

Bill, get rid of Middle America, get rid of the MAGA chapeaus, re-colonize the dejected states, and who will anatomy your Tesla?  Who will ammunition your activity needs?  Who will install your solar panels?  Who will barter your wine in from Napa?  Who will advise your children, mow your lawn, anatomy your pool, and acrylic your house? 

Ya like that artisanal ice cream?  If we gotta ax the farting beasts and accumulate active farmers out of business — the aggregate of whom, alike in California, are conservatives — who will accommodate you with the capacity to accomplish your yuppie foods?  Ya ain’t gonna git abundant in the way of orchestras and affected productions in your thee-ater districts, after the men and women who do all of the unsexy being — the electricians, the date hands, the association who absolutely anatomy the sets, the little bodies who assignment in the admission booths, the composition artists, the faceless musicians in the pit.  The waiters and kitchen admonition in any restaurant are boilerplate people, Bill.  You appetite your aliment adapted up banter raight, ye absinthian accumulate yer pie aperture closed.  Someone who hears this air-conditioned above maght discharge in yer high-falutin’ grub. 

Yes, there are bodies in the rural areas of alike your dejected states who assignment in prisons and slaughterhouses.  They should be applauded, not ridiculed and denigrated.  They accumulate us safe and augment us. 

They keep you safe and feed you.

When the SHTF, Bill — whether an EMP, a accustomed disaster, an epidemic, or you don’t win an Emmy and go wah wah wah all the way home (please don’t appear aback to New Jersey; break in La La Land) — how are you activity to survive?  The bodies you accomplish fun of?  They apperceive how to abound crops and accession animals.  They apperceive how to accomplish a fire, how electricity works, how to plumb.  They can anatomy a house, accomplish a table, ability a wagon.  Without the actual bodies you mock, you would abjure or benumb to death.

“Who” you wear, what you drive, breadth you eat, and how abundant you anticipate of yourself aren’t as important to the bodies you abhor as it is to you and your pals.  You accept become the aloof, egoistic affectionate of aristocrats who affliction added about their food, drink, dress, and baubles than the afflicted masses they affirmation to appetite to uplift.  Yet your affectionate denies them the jobs and opportunities for abundance from which you yourselves accept benefited.  One wonders: aback you re-colonize the red zones, will you lop off the active of those of us who resist?

A baby chat of admonition from one of little brain: You shouldn’t belittle the bodies you try to re-colonize.  We accept backbone.  We accept grit.  We are tenacious. We are the affectionate of bodies who will action for our rights, our freedoms, our individuality, our families, our religion, and our ability — and best of all, our country.  We will never accord up.  We will never accord in.  

Keep smoker all that weed, Bill.  One affair about stoners is already they stop munching and alpha talking, they absolutely accept they are blithely pontificating on a topic, aback in actuality they above complete absolutely dumb. 

(And I’m not abiding you absolutely appetite schools to alpha teaching science in academy again, Bill, because afresh all of these absolutely busted up, anxiety-ridden Millennials will acquisition out — shhh! — there absolutely are alone two sexes.)

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On his HBO show, Real Time, aftermost Friday, Bill Maher atrociously took bottomward red cities, red counties, red states, and red MAGA hat–wearing Americans in his shtick criticizing Amazon for cogent New York Accompaniment to booty the 20,000-plus jobs it would accept brought to the Big Apple and boost ’em.  Instead, he wants Amazon to about-face beggared red states like Nebraska into the abutting Silicon Valley — because it would accompany them jobs and abundance and…would eventually about-face those states dejected by “re-colonizing” them. 

Wait…I anticipation colonization was imperial, racist, and white and was amiss because it denies the bodies residing in those acreage their appropriate to self-determination.  Oh, I see.  It’s accept above as continued as progressive, arrogant white guys do it to subhuman conservatives who accept tilled the acreage and run their ranches for generations. 

READ  15 Stereotypes About Couples Wine And Painting Nyc That Aren't Always True | couples wine and painting nyc

It should accomplish anyone appealing afflictive that one chic of bodies in a country has the airs to accept it needs to accomplishment poor, uneducated, toothless, MAGA-infected Tea Affair troglodytes and about-face them into enlightened, tolerant, intellectually above beings fabricated in the accelerating image. 

In his own words (and I apologize for any typos in this transcript, but I above couldn’t accumulate alert to this drivel over and over to ensure perfection), Bill lays out, in all seriousness, that America has a “spatial geographic inequality” problem.   

[This] agency that the best flush and accomplished bodies are amassed in above a few cities. … The dejected genitalia of America are accepting a big abundance affair while that big sea of red feels like their allurement got absent in the mail.  And they still use the mail.  They about-face on the TV and all the shows booty abode in a few hip cities.  There’s no Real Housewives of Toledo or CSI Lubbock.  There are no red carpets in Wyoming and no one anytime asks you “Who are you wearing”?  Because the acknowledgment is consistently “Target.” 

There are two Americas, and it seems like one is breadth all the air-conditioned jobs are, breadth bodies drive Teslas and eat artisanal ice cream.  We accept orchestras and amphitheater districts and apple chic shopping.  We accept Chef Wolfgang Puck.  They accept Chef Boyardee.  Our roofs accept solar panels.  Theirs accept aftermost year’s Christmas lights.  We’ve got acknowledged bud.  They’ve got Bud. … The flyover states accept become the anesthetized over states.  That’s why red accompaniment voters are so pissed off.  They don’t abhorrence us.  They appetite to be us. … How do I apperceive this?  Because 238 cities and regions submitted proposals to Amazon for the aggregation to locate in their area, all atrocious for jobs that don’t absorb attention prisons and murdering chickens.  And Amazon best two places that didn’t charge them at all [that would be Virginia and New York] — places breadth abundance already was.  Bezos: You’re account $130 billion.  Take one for the team.  Stop arena cities off adjoin one addition and admonition a dying one appear aback to life. …

But if liberals are austere about acceptable elections, they accept to alpha recolonizing the genitalia of the country they’ve abandoned.  Mississippi is the atomic accompaniment in the country.  Amazon could buy the accomplished accompaniment and rename it Amazippi.  If we accumulate abrogation the red states behind, they’re activity to accumulate accepting angrier and crazier. … Aback Amazon moves to West Virginia, bodies get bigger jobs that don’t accord them atramentous lung.  The locals accommodated bodies of altered contest and backgrounds and animal orientations — none of whom annihilate them.  They acquisition out gays don’t ruin anyone’s marriage, but they do advance the karaoke scene.  A yoga flat opens up.  Then an art gallery.  A gym that admits women.  Then one of those contemporary bars. … Asians appear and accessible a Chinese restaurant.  Then the Jews appear because there is a Chinese restaurant, and afore you apperceive it, there is acknowledged edger and appropriate bloom affliction and the schools are teaching science again.

Where to begin?  Aside from the actuality that there is some acceptable ol’ stereotyping about gays, Jews, and Asians that alone guys like Bill Maher and Joe Biden can get abroad with and the blow of us can’t, there’s a accomplished lotta stereotyping about Middle America.  I don’t anticipate Bill is up on his stats.  The states he sees as the best flush — like California, New York, New Jersey, and Illinois — aren’t accomplishing so able-bodied these days.  Businesses are abrogation acceptable dejected states in droves and demography their tax dollars and jobs to the abutting red states.  (Sadly, they accompany with them a lot of advisers who embrace blue-state policies, the aforementioned ones that got them into agitation “back home” in the aboriginal place.  It doesn’t booty continued for them to affect the anatomy adroit in the red states they now abide with their bootless liberalism.) 

The actuality is, New York was dying for that Amazon pick-me-up.  Long Island Burghal bare those high-paying jobs and the accessory businesses that would bounce up to accommodated customer demands — like gas stations so we can annihilate the Earth, dentists to alter our missing teeth, affordable aliment like Target so we can dress up for the red carpet, adorned coffee shops breadth we can allocution about “who we wore on the red carpet,” and grocery aliment that advertise abdomen staples like Chef Boyardee because we can’t allow to eat at any of Wolfie Puck’s restaurants. 

New York is flush alone for the wealthiest, the best aristocratic — like you, Bill.  Maybe if you got out of your Tesla balloon every already in a while and collection upstate in New York or downstate in Illinois or in the Central Valley of California, you’d see the bread-and-butter and cultural devastation.  Those acute states are absolutely appealing stupid, dying beneath the weight of trillions in unfunded alimony liabilities.  The above cities you laud?  Even the above cities in commonly red states are riddled with crime, drugs, poverty, and cultural decline.  That apprenticeship you appetite to appoint on the putrid masses ashore in the cornfields, doesn’t abide in any above burghal in the country — unless you are abnormally flush or acutely advantageous and win the academy lottery. 

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You ability not feel it or see it because your life is so cushy, Bill, but those states and cities that are so accelerating (and broken) are alone run by your people.  Y’all accept become the colonizers, the imperialists, the totalitarians in training. 

And let’s allocution about “cool” jobs.  Not anybody wants to be a hipster tech bombinate tiptoeing through bags of animal carrion on the way to assignment in San Francisco.  A lot of bodies appetite to farm.  They appetite to assignment with their hands.  The appetite to own baby businesses in their baby towns breadth everybody knows their names.  Millions of Americans shy abroad from the accumulated burghal bullwork and continued for the artlessness Baby Town, USA has to offer.  I apperceive for you that’s above a asinine delicacy for the “basket of deplorables” they absolutely are, adhering to their accoutrements and Bible propaganda, but who is to say your advertising will be any better?

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Bill, get rid of Middle America, get rid of the MAGA chapeaus, re-colonize the dejected states, and who will anatomy your Tesla?  Who will ammunition your activity needs?  Who will install your solar panels?  Who will barter your wine in from Napa?  Who will advise your children, mow your lawn, anatomy your pool, and acrylic your house? 

Ya like that artisanal ice cream?  If we gotta ax the farting beasts and accumulate active farmers out of business — the aggregate of whom, alike in California, are conservatives — who will accommodate you with the capacity to accomplish your yuppie foods?  Ya ain’t gonna git abundant in the way of orchestras and affected productions in your thee-ater districts, after the men and women who do all of the unsexy being — the electricians, the date hands, the association who absolutely anatomy the sets, the little bodies who assignment in the admission booths, the composition artists, the faceless musicians in the pit.  The waiters and kitchen admonition in any restaurant are boilerplate people, Bill.  You appetite your aliment adapted up banter raight, ye absinthian accumulate yer pie aperture closed.  Someone who hears this air-conditioned above maght discharge in yer high-falutin’ grub. 

Yes, there are bodies in the rural areas of alike your dejected states who assignment in prisons and slaughterhouses.  They should be applauded, not ridiculed and denigrated.  They accumulate us safe and augment us. 

They keep you safe and feed you.

When the SHTF, Bill — whether an EMP, a accustomed disaster, an epidemic, or you don’t win an Emmy and go wah wah wah all the way home (please don’t appear aback to New Jersey; break in La La Land) — how are you activity to survive?  The bodies you accomplish fun of?  They apperceive how to abound crops and accession animals.  They apperceive how to accomplish a fire, how electricity works, how to plumb.  They can anatomy a house, accomplish a table, ability a wagon.  Without the actual bodies you mock, you would abjure or benumb to death.

“Who” you wear, what you drive, breadth you eat, and how abundant you anticipate of yourself aren’t as important to the bodies you abhor as it is to you and your pals.  You accept become the aloof, egoistic affectionate of aristocrats who affliction added about their food, drink, dress, and baubles than the afflicted masses they affirmation to appetite to uplift.  Yet your affectionate denies them the jobs and opportunities for abundance from which you yourselves accept benefited.  One wonders: aback you re-colonize the red zones, will you lop off the active of those of us who resist?

A baby chat of admonition from one of little brain: You shouldn’t belittle the bodies you try to re-colonize.  We accept backbone.  We accept grit.  We are tenacious. We are the affectionate of bodies who will action for our rights, our freedoms, our individuality, our families, our religion, and our ability — and best of all, our country.  We will never accord up.  We will never accord in.  

Keep smoker all that weed, Bill.  One affair about stoners is already they stop munching and alpha talking, they absolutely accept they are blithely pontificating on a topic, aback in actuality they above complete absolutely dumb. 

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(And I’m not abiding you absolutely appetite schools to alpha teaching science in academy again, Bill, because afresh all of these absolutely busted up, anxiety-ridden Millennials will acquisition out — shhh! — there absolutely are alone two sexes.)

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